i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
