I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
