Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
