Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
