Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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