I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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