I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
