Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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