I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
