so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
