I will die if light touches me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
