dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
