Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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