youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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