she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize