from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i out mim tonsoeep
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
