best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Vodka?
Forever.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
