singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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