She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
