So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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