remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
