Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I want her autograph on my taint
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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