the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
