At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize