i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
