it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
