He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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