Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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