he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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