5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
