Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
