Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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