im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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