maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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