Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
