Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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