fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
