I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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