i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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