I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
