So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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