lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
