Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize