i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
