Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
