im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
