There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
