I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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