I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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