I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm like, not good at living.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize