dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize