It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
