It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
