your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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