i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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