And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
