my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
