dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
