therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize