it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
