You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I touched a dick in church today
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
