ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
