I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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